Portraits

So I love painting as you know.........but portraits are my real passion. Capturing the unique features, getting the size and colours right, it takes time but feels good, I love it!!

I have some amazingly clever friends that paint to a far higher standard than me and manage to add that bit of flair and individuality making them very successful artists because of this.

How To Shower - Like a Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat. 4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. 7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw. 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off). 11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. 12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you freeze / roast 13. Turn off shower. 14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Mould and Mildew Remover. 15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African Country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. 16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a blemish. Attack with nails/tweezers/stanley knife/sander/power drill if found. 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

How to Shower - Like A Man: 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making a "wey hey" sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror, suck in your gut, look for pecs. Admire yourself in the mirror. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one). 6. Wash your face. 7. Wash your armpits. 8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. 9. Wash your privates and surrounding area. 10. Ensure you leave "special" hair on the soap bar. 11. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). 12. Make a shampoo Mohawk. 13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror. 14. Pee (in the shower). 15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the bath the whole time. 16. Partially dry off. 17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire self again. 18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. 19. Leave bathroom light on. 20. Return to the bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass your wife, pull off towel, grab willy, repeat "Wey hey" sound. 21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.

Assessment day

Oh my.....what a day!! I feel shattered!! I went for an assessment day today for a new job involving a competency based interview, skills test, case study presentation without preparation and group work.

I would absolutely love this job as its so interesting, the people seemed lovely, the working environment was stunning with gym, hair dressers, great restaurant, flexi time, fab offices *sigh*........ there were 16 candidates seen today.

I'm treating this as a learning experience and despite feeling that I haven't got the job it was a positive day and I've learnt so much from it :o)

Brain update!

Ok so it's getting better, my brain that is! It seems daily exercise really does help. I'm 32 now, a great improvement on 58!

The exercises consist of calculations, speed is of the essence; high vs. low calculations; head counts; memory tests and reading aloud. I struggle with this one, reading aloud, but I'm getting there. It all stems back to school days when I hated the ridicule of reading in class and struggling over words. Anyone else out there using this I'd welcome comments, over and out for now :o)

My brain is old!!!

Well I got myself a Nintendo DS Lite together with Brain Trainer.....hmmmm. So I begin by testing my brain in terms of agility completing a series of tests. It tells me my brain is 58!!!! That's just wrong!!!

So I need to do daily exercises to try to gain my youth ha ha!!! I have to say that the unit relies on you writing in a certain way and it recognising your voice but it's pretty efficient, the odd occasion when it doesn't contributes to my flagging brains results so perhaps I'm not really quite so decrepit??!!!! I'll keep you posted how I get on!

Sing!!!!

Oooooo, singsnap is such fun!!

You get to record your favourite tracks.....play with video effects, have a sing, meet some cool people.

Using a simple cam is a bit restrictive with sound quality and vision but nevertheless enjoyable!

Why not give it a go, see ya there!

http://www.singsnap.com/snap/profile/overview/ad19cbf

skotbites

skotbites

Here's a link to my cool friend Scott (click on link above).

Check out his blog it's packed with interesting stuff. He's a techno whizz .........things like his pictures have fab lighting effects, God knows how he managed that!!!! He provides links and reviews to some cool new gadgets on the market.