Portraits

So I love painting as you know.........but portraits are my real passion. Capturing the unique features, getting the size and colours right, it takes time but feels good, I love it!!

I have some amazingly clever friends that paint to a far higher standard than me and manage to add that bit of flair and individuality making them very successful artists because of this.

How To Shower - Like a Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat. 4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. 7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw. 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off). 11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. 12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you freeze / roast 13. Turn off shower. 14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Mould and Mildew Remover. 15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African Country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. 16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a blemish. Attack with nails/tweezers/stanley knife/sander/power drill if found. 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

How to Shower - Like A Man: 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making a "wey hey" sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror, suck in your gut, look for pecs. Admire yourself in the mirror. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one). 6. Wash your face. 7. Wash your armpits. 8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. 9. Wash your privates and surrounding area. 10. Ensure you leave "special" hair on the soap bar. 11. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). 12. Make a shampoo Mohawk. 13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror. 14. Pee (in the shower). 15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the bath the whole time. 16. Partially dry off. 17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire self again. 18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. 19. Leave bathroom light on. 20. Return to the bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass your wife, pull off towel, grab willy, repeat "Wey hey" sound. 21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.

Assessment day

Oh my.....what a day!! I feel shattered!! I went for an assessment day today for a new job involving a competency based interview, skills test, case study presentation without preparation and group work.

I would absolutely love this job as its so interesting, the people seemed lovely, the working environment was stunning with gym, hair dressers, great restaurant, flexi time, fab offices *sigh*........ there were 16 candidates seen today.

I'm treating this as a learning experience and despite feeling that I haven't got the job it was a positive day and I've learnt so much from it :o)

Brain update!

Ok so it's getting better, my brain that is! It seems daily exercise really does help. I'm 32 now, a great improvement on 58!

The exercises consist of calculations, speed is of the essence; high vs. low calculations; head counts; memory tests and reading aloud. I struggle with this one, reading aloud, but I'm getting there. It all stems back to school days when I hated the ridicule of reading in class and struggling over words. Anyone else out there using this I'd welcome comments, over and out for now :o)

My brain is old!!!

Well I got myself a Nintendo DS Lite together with Brain Trainer.....hmmmm. So I begin by testing my brain in terms of agility completing a series of tests. It tells me my brain is 58!!!! That's just wrong!!!

So I need to do daily exercises to try to gain my youth ha ha!!! I have to say that the unit relies on you writing in a certain way and it recognising your voice but it's pretty efficient, the odd occasion when it doesn't contributes to my flagging brains results so perhaps I'm not really quite so decrepit??!!!! I'll keep you posted how I get on!

Sing!!!!

Oooooo, singsnap is such fun!!

You get to record your favourite tracks.....play with video effects, have a sing, meet some cool people.

Using a simple cam is a bit restrictive with sound quality and vision but nevertheless enjoyable!

Why not give it a go, see ya there!

http://www.singsnap.com/snap/profile/overview/ad19cbf

skotbites

skotbites

Here's a link to my cool friend Scott (click on link above).

Check out his blog it's packed with interesting stuff. He's a techno whizz .........things like his pictures have fab lighting effects, God knows how he managed that!!!! He provides links and reviews to some cool new gadgets on the market.

Rooster Rock!!!

I love this band but sadly they are no more.....my best friend introduced me to them...thank you Hic!!!!

Rooster were an English rock band. They formed in 2002 by Nick Atkinson on vocals, Luke Potashnick guitar, Dave Neale drums and Ben Smyth bass. Atkinson and Potashnick were former school friends who reunited while living in London, after both admitted they were struggling to make an impact with their respective bands. They formed Rooster with Neale and Smyth and, after only a few live shows, were signed to Brightside.

The band's self-styled "griff rock" combined hard rock with pop. The debut single, "Come Get Some", reached the UK top 10 in November 2004. The band received much acclaim for their live shows, which were energetic and exciting with fantastic musicianship. Live shows saw the band improvising and extending songs; Neale often performed a four minute long drum solo during "Drag The Sunrise Down". With musical differences and difficulties with the record company the band announced their split via their Myspace on 23rd January 2007.

Man In A Hot Air Balloon Joke"

Rooster

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.

The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire."The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs."You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can. The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.

The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit.....third gay rooster I bought this month." Moral of this story? .... Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!

Am I sweating enough?

So I'm up the gym again tonight, I have a routine and start things off on the cross trainer. A nice low impact machine working the heart and muscles. I do 30 mins and tend to cover around 4.5k....not a great distance I know but I work against a resistance and burn a fair few calories! Then I move onto the weights....nothing too heavy as I'm not into body building! Lastly its abs and stretch out\cool down. I'm there 45-60 mins.

Now I know the 'zone' is different for everyone depending on fitness levels, age etc but when do I know I'm working to a pick level??? I don't sweat much at all, I go a lovely shade of red in the face and feel shattered while on the cross trainer. I look round and see men in particular sweating their butts off!!!

I saw this woman there last night with the most perfect body, not an once of fat, toned.....she was using the weights like the guys do, but lighter.....perhaps that will be my next goal to get in there with the men and sweat! ............................here's a pic of me sweating or glowing?!

Late night shopper!

That's me!!! I hate crowds in shops and bloody trolleys blocking your way , you know what I mean?! So I'm a late night shopper, it's great as it's so quiet and quick, just how I like it. I want all shops to open late, until midnight please!!!! ha ha

Working up a sweat!

I'm really into the gym, never used to be!!! So I go again tonight and the place is full of children...arrrggghhhhhh!!! I love kids but there I was fighting to get on the cross trainer my absolute favourite machine, this little chap about 8 years old jumps on the first free one so I end up having to go on the running machine.....not my thing as I'm not built for running (36E) eeeekkkkkkks!

The castle

Oooooh it was such a lovely day today, work was the usual *yawn* but as the sun was shining things weren't so bad. I'm leaving my job in November, starting afresh somewhere new. I need a change although I'll miss the people so much, they are just lovely!!

So I went to Portchester Castle the best preserved of the Roman ‘Saxon Shore’ forts. It is the only Roman stronghold in northern Europe whose walls still mainly stand to their full height. It then housed a Saxon settlement, the huge waterside fortress became a Norman castle in the 12th century, when a formidable tower-keep was built in one corner (a shop too now!). Portchester was in the front line throughout the Hundred Years War, serving as a staging post for expeditions to France and repelling cross-Channel raids. Richard II transformed part of the castle into a palace in 1396 and Henry V used it as a departure point for the Agincourt campaign in 1415. Thereafter it saw little action, but was used to house troops in the Civil War, and prisoners of war during the Dutch and Napoleonic Wars...... here ends my history lesson lol!!!

It's a great place for a picnic too as sampled by my mum and dad yesterday!!!

Over and out for now xx

Virgin

Well off I go again to do my thang as a virgin, I'm a Virgin Vie consultant in my spare time. It's fun and I get to do girlie stuff, sample loads of fab products and earn some extra money, all good!!

So tomorrow tonight I'm out but this time also taking on Homeware, it's beautiful stuff so I can be genuinely enthusiastic about it.

The weird thing is I used to get so nervous about speaking in public, when I was a kid I hated reading aloud in class and at Uni I was almost physically sick when I had to give my dissertation presentation, now I'm chilled so the whole experience has been very positive.

Needless to say I use VirginVie mascara, see above lol!!!

Facial's

If your a guy or a girl a facial is heaven. Come on guys try it!

So it starts with a thorough deep cleanse preparing the skin for all the goodies to come, that in itself is lovely. Then the most amazing facial massage....now this is my favourite bit, she starts using an oil to massage across my shoulders, neck and chest then moves up to my face using wonderful movements that seem to all flow into one..... temples, forehead and cheeks. I usually start snoring at this point!!!

Then comes the mask to hydrate and cleanse, depending on your skin type as its tailored to your needs. A final cleanse and moisturise and its all over.......too soon!

I feel great afterwards and its all happening tonight woo hoo *grin*!

Heading for the beach...

Bournemouth is gorgeous!

Miles of golden sands and sparkling sea, it's vibrant, loads of shops and restaurants, buzzing nightlife, beautiful gardens and water sports galore.....I sound like I have shares in the place ha ha!!

Heading for the beach as it's such a beautiful day.....chill time......mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Have a great Sunday :o)

Good night sweet dreams xx

Was a good night........*yawn*....*hic*.....nite nite xxx

Friends :o)

My gorgeous friend Hic is an angel, she's always there for me and I love her like a sister, we've each been on a roller coaster at times and I've needed her..... I always know she'll never judge me, she listens and supports me and provides the honesty we both value so much.

Ooooh am feeling soppy tonight.....*blush*

We should say what we think sometimes, not hold back so here's me saying it as it is .....YOU ARE A DOLL AND I LOVE YOU!!!!! xxxxxx

Tiger Tiger....*roar*!

I finished this painting today, I do tend to dip in every now and then but finally this one got hung in my flat! I didn't have any of my own paintings.

I will be concentrating on some portrait work soon, that's my real passion.

Vampires thrill me!

Oh yeah!

What is it about the whole idea of an afterlife and being bitten that's so sexy, so exciting??? Looking at old vamp movies its always about the prince of darkness taking the young beautiful maiden, there's a romantic edge...... more recently films like Underworld involve much more "kick-arse" action, girls and guys get to play hero and as the vampire this time.

I got the teeth in this pic and moulded them to my own......I just loved the feel and went round scaring the shit outta my friends all night....ha ha!

I'm a complete novice here!!!!

This is gonna be very boring to start with for anyone chancing on this..........haven't a clue what I'm doing and have only just managed to upload a picture!! *sigh*!